Pardon the celebratory post yesterday... but we're going to Europe!!

Our friends in Manchester Orchestra are lifting us by our grimy Chicagoan paws (as loveable as they are) and will be taking us for a dip in the sweet pool of overseas travel. When we return, I plan on being insufferable.

"Oh you've never been to LEEDS? It's magnificent."

"London. Sure, it's alright. Oh. You've never been?"

I'm sure you can't wait.

But I have even more news. Big Scary Monsters - you can read more at the appropriately titled Blog Scary Monsters - will be putting out our first UK release next month. A two song vinyl, the album will include "Hanasakajiijii 4" (you might have heard it) and our previous vinyl attempt "Entropy" (you might have heard it... but that's less likely). Pre-orders can be found here.

Now, a "what have you been doing?" and a "what I've been doing."

I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed the comment thread from a couple posts back. My "what in the world is going on?" was met with a collective "A LOT!"

A small recap:

(1) My old roommate from CMU...

...now has his own Vandermolen blogspot blog. Spot blog. Blog. RIGHT. It seems that everyone is getting one of these. With that said, I think Nick would make a good electronic friend for some of you... and who knows? Maybe he'll even include Vandermolen commenters in his latest homemade Michigan Mythos Action Deck.

(2) A time travelling history professor from the 23rd century stopped by to say hello. His or her (***fixed!) cryptic future talk can be found here. Interesting.

(like I said, everyone is getting blogs... even futuristic historians from New Harvard... it must be the thing)

(3) Ninjas in Staten Island, a war in Kenya, Lost rumors, the Iron Chef return, a Chicago heat wave, Norm MacDonald wreaking havoc on an old episode of Conan:

Okay, none of you posted about Norm. But seriously. This is brutal. Wonderfully brutal.

(Kevin, I know you know where I found this... but we'll just keep that a secret between you and me. Deal?)

So that's all what you've been up to. Minus Norm. Now here is what I've been up to:

This, my friends, is called market research. Here's how it goes:

(1) Yours truly goes on craigslist in the ETC section of "jobs."
(2) I wade through all the junk postings.
(3) I find PURE GOLD.
(3a) "PURE GOLD" is defined as "candy cough drop taste test."
(4) I show up at a research center slightly outside of Atlanta in Dunwoody.
(4a) Yup, I went back to Atlanta for new years (and the next couple of weeks). If you can't tell, I really like my girlfriend.
(4b) By like, I mean love.
(4c) In case she came on here, read the post, and I had to answer to: IT'S BEEN TWO YEARS AND YOU "REALLY LIKE ME?"
(4d) Just kidding. She's wonderful and she'd never speak to me in all caps.
(4e) Ummm, moving on.
(5) I show up at the research center and try nine different cough drops over three different hour long sessions.
(6) They hand me a check for $120.
(8) In all caps.
(9) I pay my modest bills.
(10) Those are saltines in the picture (above) to cleanse my palate.
(11) So yes, I received about twenty free saltines along with my check.
(12) Like I said, PURE GOLD!!!

How sweet, right?

And if that weren't enough... if you'll humor me, I'd like to end this post with a tribute to me:

A cryptic photo?... let me help. The fourteen is the level I've attained. My reputation is a sterling five out of five stars. Graham Swift? Not only is he a famous British novelist and winner of the Booker Prize... he's also my Madden NFL 2008 screenname.

And the RNK? What could that be?

That is my rank... I've finally - FINALLY - cracked the top 100 players in the world at Madden online play for the Nintendo Wii!!!

Tonight was my big night.

And here is one of my victims:

Like I said. Top one hundred.

Sincerely yours,
Graham Swift Unstoppable


Sheila Scarborough said...

Hi, the top photo is from my Family Travel blog; it's of my son when we visited Mini-Europe in Brussels, Belgium.

Just wanted to give credit where it's due....

If you have a chance, visit Brussels sometime. It's a neat city.

marahe said...

bret, #96 in the WORLD! you're a nerd.

Stephen said...

Hey! Congrats on all of it. And being a nerd is the new cool.

History Prof. said...

Dear BW...
what makes you think I am a man?

BW said...

hahaha. It turns out I'm unwittingly sexist! my deepest 21st century apologies.

Anonymous said...

much congrats....the gas station and i miss all of you dearly

Alex said...

A 7"! Magnificent! Now how about getting some full lengths out on vinyl...

julia gulia said...

i just thought i should say that this post was especially hilarious.

and made me very very jealous of europe. hope you have fun!

Anonymous said...

who is that kid trying to...kid thinking we can actually HEAR what he's saying?!